About six years ago I met a gentle, quiet expat who at around 5ft tall made my 5ft 8 personage feel incredibly small. And she probably would be surprised to know that I find her one of the most inspiring and successful expats I have met. Patricia Bonilla (Marulanda) hails from Colombia and has been [...]
Archive for the ‘Expat Secrets’ Category
The quiet, silent, inspiring type
Posted in Expat Secrets on December 15, 2010 | 2 Comments »
Proactive and reactive addiction, abuse and infidelity help
Posted in Expat Secrets, tagged expat addiction recovery, expat infidelity, Expat secrets on December 12, 2010 | 2 Comments »
For those of you that have stuck with me to the end of these sticky topics – congratulations. Even those of us whose lives are unaffected by alcohol, drug, physical, emotional or other areas of abuse, infidelity, sexual or other addictions, know that the balance can shift in an instant and understanding is the key. [...]
Sexual addiction
Posted in Expat Secrets on December 11, 2010 | 2 Comments »
Another addiction that is rarely talked about is sex addiction or … the phenomenon in which individuals report being unable to manage their sexual behavior. It has also been called “sexual dependency,” and “sexual compulsivity. According to the BBC’s Newsbeat, sex addiction is an addiction just like alcohol, drugs and gambling. In their article Inside [...]
Infidelity on foreign soil
Posted in Expat Secrets on December 10, 2010 | 4 Comments »
Of all the things to lose as an expat, one of the most painful must be losing trust in your partner. Statistics and articles on expat alcohol abuse, domestic and other forms of abuse are hard to find, however this is not so for expat infidelity. Even a small amount of research turns up a [...]
The many faces of abuse
Posted in Expat Secrets on December 9, 2010 | 4 Comments »
Once there was an expat family who lived in an apartment block. The father was often seen, coming and going and carrying groceries. His wife and children however were never seen, though the people who lived above and below them knew they were in there. Repeated attempts to draw them out were ignored – no-one [...]
Drowning, dulling and hiding – time for another holiday drink?
Posted in Expat Secrets, tagged expat alcoholism, expats and substance abuse on December 8, 2010 | 1 Comment »
As the Christmas and New Year Holidays hit us (in most Western countries) we find our diaries, IPhones or Blackberries laden down with copious celebrations 99.99% of which involve the consumption of alcohol. For many expats however – we don’t need a special occasion. It often surprises me that alcohol is not a controlled substance [...]
What lies beneath the definition
Posted in Expat Secrets on December 7, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
Tis my firm and avid belief that much of our vulnerability as expat spouses lies within the definitions we create for and of ourselves. If those of us who struggle with this definition were able to honestly and confidently redefine ourselves – and subsequently our self-worth – we would make inroads into the challenges we [...]
Benchmarking our behavior and sensibilities
Posted in Expat Secrets, tagged Expat secrets on December 6, 2010 | 3 Comments »
We have all experienced the surreal feelings of moving to a new place where everything around us seems to be part of a movie set, an adventure, a place where – and I have said this myself – all bets are off and we get to make our own new rules. Like most things, this [...]
Why we are so vulnerable
Posted in Expat Secrets on December 5, 2010 | 4 Comments »
What is it that makes many expats vulnerable to addiction, abuse and emotional/psychological disorders? And are we indeed more vulnerable than most? Even before starting to research this topic, it is easy to come up with some answers to those questions. I say ‘some answers’ because the problems are so well hidden, that reliable statistics [...]
Expat secrets
Posted in Expat Secrets on December 4, 2010 | 4 Comments »
It would be incredibly easy to stick to the simple and middle-sized struggles we all face as expats. Yet as this year draws to a close, I feel it would be irresponsible not to acknowledge the elephants in many expat communities. Even after all these years, it amazes me how generic we can all appear [...]
